A Night at the Opera



Why is opera relevant to our society? Like all great art, this all encompassing art form has stood the test of time. It is the only art form that has always included music, words, acting and staging and often has a requirement for all of the aforementioned to demand the utmost of performers and those who produce and stage the spectacle that is instantly recognized as Opera. There is so much of the repertoire that has been ingrained in us and was used as the background music for much of my early life – think Bugs Bunny as the Barber of Seville doing a job on the head of Elmer Fudd.



Wish I could sit there...

Never been to the opera? Do you remember the scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere takes his "date" Julia Roberts to the opera for her first time? By the end of the performance, Julia’s character is overwhelmed and flush with tears from this new experience. They were watching La Traviata, an Italian opera scored by Giuseppe Verdi some 150 years ago, about a prostitute who falls in love with a wealthy man.  She succumbs to consumption and dies in his arms as the curtain drops for the last time.  Hmm, sounds like the plot for a Hollywood film (except nobody can die at the end as it would affect the box office receipts)…

I remember my parents playing records of opera performances and being fascinated by these multi-record collections that had detailed inserts printed on glossy paper, biographies of the performers and containing the libretto in the language of the performance and its translation in English. The smell of the vinyl, each disk clapping away as it dropped from the spindle onto the platter to be played next. Even the packaging of the recordings was a work of art. These memories are from a time past and both the recording and the opera itself were from generations ago. They have stood the test of time - time being the surest and best critic of any art form. Only the best survives.  

Operatic music to me was just classical music. When I was a youth, I understood without question, that classical music maintained a certain reverence attributed to it by my elders; my Italian grandparents, parents and music teachers. It was not until I was in my early teens that I experienced my first opera performance. It was at the Met in New York and it was a performance of Rigoletto that was part of music appreciation in middle school. In attendance were bus loads of kids from many school districts and it was a special matinee for youths from the surrounding New York suburbs. Between the groans and flying spitballs in the theatre, the overture began: Instant recognition! I still remember the English lyrics to La Donna Immobile we learned in music class in grade school (Regrettably, I didn't know what the words truly meant until I started dating in my teens… another one of life's lessons)... Maestro, lead in with the music - um, da, da, um, da, da, and now the tenor begins - La donna è mobile, Qual piuma al vento (Woman is fickle, Like a feather in the wind)…

One thing I remember taking away with me from the performance was how I was moved to tears by both the beauty of the music and how it was delivered by the performers. I remember to this day the moment it first happened during the opening act when Rigolleto's daughter, Gilda, sings the aria "Caro Nome (Dearest Name)". It still gives me the chills to hear that piece on recordings, forget about the emotional outpouring from a live performance!

Music and words, no matter which part of the world the composer is from or what language the lyrics are in, moves us. Sometimes there's just something in a song that has you so involved and drawn in, where a confluence of emotions take you over and your tears flow freely. A great performance in a movie can have the same effect as can the experience of seeing something created by nature where the beauty of it is overwhelming. I hold a special place in my heart for music as it crosses the barriers we impose on language, nationality and race. Music by itself, independent of words, carries great emotion. Ah, but include words and some acting to add overt expression to the mood being portrayed, enhances the music to such a degree it is almost overwhelming.

We need opera in society, for it allows us to feel emotions that might otherwise go unexpressed. That is the great power of hearing the human voice stretched to its very potential. The performers are akin to great Olympic athletes. Those athletes meet to compete once every four years but the dedicated practice and commitment to their "art" often require decades of sacrifice and hard work. The Olympics has a valid place in our society and we would be a poorer society without it. The same can be said of opera. Luckily we can experience opera more readily than seeing Olympic athletes perform on a world stage.

This blog will be continued with a discussion about why people hate opera and review of some operas I have seen recently staged by the Los Angeles Opera company.

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When Harry Met Sally and Sally Met Bob and Bob met Carol, Ted and Alice…

A friend of mine recently discussed her consideration for seeking a friends with benefit experience in place of a real relationship. Friends with benefits (FWB)?. I wonder what yuppie asshole from the Me generation coined that phrase? I just figured she was just spending too much time on Facebook where I imagine they have an app for that like Mafia Wars where you can gain points to trade as long as you can steer clear of disease or the damage to your soul.

Wikipedia defines Friends with benefits as “a casual relationship between two unmarried people who engage in uncommitted sex acts. The intent is generally to relieve sexual frustrations through an alternative to masturbation [Ed. What’s wrong with that? Worked for me my whole life.], and is not intended as a romantic relationship. Both parties are free to date and engage in sex acts with other persons. This type of a relationship effectively gives the people involved an outlet for their sexual urges without the potential stress and time-demands of a committed relationship. Two people may elect to become friends with benefits because they are unwilling to commit to a full-fledged relationship for whatever reason.” An alternative to masturbation, oh brother! I am not afraid to jump right in and get my proverbial hands dirty. As Woody Allen once said, “Don’t knock masturbation. At least it is sex with someone I love.”

When I was growing up we often called this type of encounter a one night’s stand and you would try to find the loosest girl you knew of or heard about that would join you in some carnal pleasures. Dating wasn’t even a requirement and if you were lucky, you could get away without spending a dime. Born from the free love movement of the 60’s to the one night’s stand from my youth (70’s) led to the pleasure of casual sex as they called it in the 80’s. Disco Johnny and Spandex Susie, all sweaty from dancing the Hustle and drinking watered-down vodka and tonics at a local club in some Jersey backwater, could retire to the back of his father’s caddy and horizontally “dance of the night away”.

These days, it seems that dating has become as casual as the sex these people are lusting after. We've replaced courtship and real conversation with text messaging and online social networking. Consequently, our relationships have become as disposable as our technology.

“Oh, I just dropped my iPhone in the toilet. No problem it is under replacement warranty. But wait, what is that floating next to my iPhone? It looks like my morality and self-worth bobbing up and down like more shit that needs to be flushed.”

With an FWB, there's not much to putting your best face forward; the attention to the details for developing a deeper understanding of what is natural in a relationship. As for romance? Fuggeddaboudit! Is “I know you and even like you somewhat, you have something I need so “let’s get it on” (sorry for all these quoted references to old 70’s/80’s songs – just stuck in my head when I am writing this). Wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am isn't a relationship. A relationship is honest-to-goodness, face-to-face commitment and, man, does that take work; more so as the relationship develops through friendship and beyond. Isn't the slow seduction that leads to that first kiss the most exciting part of a relationship? Friends with benefits jump to conclusions -- the conclusion that there is no possibility of a real relationship.

Women have a different ideal about what constitutes friendship and hence, relationship between the sexes. I believe that woman have a naïve sense that they can actually develop a friendship with a man. I am pretty confident it is not the same for men and I am reminded of the exchange between Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan in the flick When Harry Met Sally:

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.

Sally: Why not?

Harry: What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: You only think you do.

Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: How do you know?

Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?

Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.

Harry: Guess not.

Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.

Thinking about this phenomenon led me to look up the research literature on “friends with benefits,” and I was surprised to find so many recent studies that dealt with this issue in depth. These kinds of relationship most often occur in younger adults (high school and college-age students) who are still actively exploring their sexuality. The literature suggests this is a modern form of sexual experimentation and coming of age experience that lends itself to the new social media and electronic facilitation of communication and shared experience that is available instantaneously via texts and picture mail. Think of all the recent scandals about young girls sending nude pictures of themselves or short videos of their sex acts over the ether of the internet. It is heavily promoted by one’s peer network and who is more susceptible to peer influences that teens. I remember the pressure of my youth with the competition amongst my friends to boast of one’s sexual prowess, either real or imagined. I would have to admit to fabrication on occasion to bolster my standing in this conquest hierarchy amongst my peers.

What I am writing about here is not related to youthful exploration of one’s sexual awakening but of the participation of 40- and 50-somethings reaching out for this kind of experience. Youthful indiscretion is something we have all been both guilty of and benefited from in learning where we fit in society. The problem arises when we regress to model our behavior after those who know only more than we do about how to work within the technology of the age. They know nothing of life but those kids sure can write posts about what little they know.

I have written in a previous blog article about Casual Relationship seekers on Craigslist and came to the conclusion that there are many looking for the cheap, quick fix to serve their own hedonism. I received some feedback, mostly from women in their 40’s, who detailed their negative experiences while searching for their own casual encounters. What were they expecting posting on Craigslist? From the feedback I received, the women were looking for something beyond the casual and were disappointed when it was not received. When you advertise that you are available for a casual encounter you should expect to only get what you ask for.  It would be like going on eBay and buying a vibrator to fulfill these particular needs that was made in China... Caveat emptor - be careful what kind of lubricant you apply as you may be in for a shocking experience.

As for real relationships, by their nature, they involve some level of interdependence. People in a relationship tend to influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other.

Most current psychological theories about healthy relationships suggest they are built on a foundation of secure attachments. Attachment models for adults represent an internal set of expectations and preferences regarding a level of intimacy that guides behavior to reinforce the continued pursuit of that which provides for the nourishment of mind and body that comes from our attachment to another. Secure adult attachment, characterized by low attachment-related avoidance and anxiety, has numerous benefits. Within the context of safe, secure attachments, people can pursue optimal human functioning and flourishing within mind, body and, dare I say, soul. Once the attachment is achieved, we move toward something that can actually be called – love. I believe the concept was invented way before the Internet was imagined. Actually, we are hardwired to live in and be in love always from the first moment we are brought forth on this planet. This does not imply being swept off your feet or falling head over heels as these types of metaphors are more often related to initial infatuation described in the early love we experienced in our youth. I have written about this in another blog article about Love and Existentialism.

The capacity for love gives depth to human relationships, brings people closer to each other physically and emotionally, and makes people think expansively about themselves and their place in this world. In his triangular theory of love, psychologist Robert Sternberg theorizes that love is a mix of three components: 1) passion, or physical attraction, 2) intimacy, or feelings of closeness, and 3) commitment, involving the decision to initiate and sustain a relationship. The presence of all three components characterizes consummate love, the most profound and durable type of love.

When we arrive at this point in our lives after generations of durable and even failed relationships, most of us have experienced at least a taste of what is consummate love. Be that for our partners or even that strong bond parent/child love (minus the physical passion component – hopefully). That feeling of being “in love” has a transforming, positive consequence that inspires you and increases your own self-esteem and self-efficacy - your belief that you can achieve influence over events that affect your life.

As we gain life experience through both the good and bad of what we have lived through, we often reflect on those past experiences and many believe that there are but only knowledge gained that become part of our current nature. To free ourselves of the chains of the past, we must move to living in the present and live a more mindful subsistence. This applies to relationships we establish with others as we must co-exist and relate to them in all the moments spent in their company. We bring our knowledge and experience to each and every table we chose to sit at and from that place and mindset we have the awareness of how to relate in some meaningful way to others. Eckhart Tolle teaches that we should be mindful in all aspects of our lives. That person you are just about to sleep with is not excluded.

The Mindfullness Theory of Relationships, proposed by Dr. Ellen Langer, explains how closeness in relationships may be enhanced through the “reciprocal knowing process involving the nonstop, interrelated thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of persons in a relationship." The five components of minding include:

1. Knowing and being known: seeking to understand the partner.

2. Making relationship-enhancing attributions for behaviors: giving the benefit of the doubt.

3. Accepting and respecting: empathy and social skills.

4. Maintaining reciprocity: active participation in relationship enhancement.

5. Continuity in minding: persisting in mindfulness.

So what does us this philo-psycho-mumbo jumbo jargon have to do with just getting laid? Having sex is more than just a physical act of pleasure. It strips us, if just for a moment, of all of our social masks, and bares more than just our physical desires to the other person. While men may deny that happens, I can’t help but believe it does. Maybe that is just my own level of sensitivity and connectedness to others influencing me. I have experienced the bliss of being in love and making love to my partner. The synchronicity of the experience is such that it can be recalled even years after those precious moments have passed. The intimacy and connection remains whether you are in physical contact or not. Can that ever be achieved through a casual encounter? 

But hey, sometimes you just need to get laid!  Haven't we learned enough at our age to go out with someone we are attracted to but don't really want a relationship with, find an excuse to get drunk, go back to their place for a roll in the hay, sneak out in the middle of the night while doing the walk of shame and claim it was the booze that made me do it the next day when you have to take that awkward phone call.

As for my friend, I worry about her. While she’s brilliant, attractive, and a wonderful person, I think she may be blinded by her own cynicism about relationships, love, and attraction. But after awhile, it’s hard not to. When you meet so many people who are just interested in relationships on their own terms (and for their own ends), it can be hard to see the forest through the trees.

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Lie Down Already! Jeez

“Step right up ladies and gentlemen... I have just the tonic you need! Guaranteed to cure rheumatism, astigmatism and most of all, that dreaded disease, socialism. But wait there’s more!...”

I imagine we would be more likely to buy into the promise of post-partisanism if Billy Mays was still around to serve as pitch man. He’s not here so we will have to believe President Obama and dig out this old ditty from the dust bin of campaign rhetoric. “I am in this race because I don't want to see us spend the next year re-fighting the Washington battles of the 1990s. I don't want to pit Blue America against Red America, I want to lead a United States of America. I don't want this election to be about the past, because if it's about the future, we all win. If this election is about whether or not to end this war, or pass universal health care, or make more college affordable, it won't just be a Democratic victory; it will be an American victory.”  (http://www.barackobama.com/2007/11/03/remarks_of_senator_barack_obam_30.php, ) Thanks to Paul Krugman from the New York Times for resurrecting this quote from one of Barack Obama’s campaign speeches.

Last year, all the chattering, talking heads on CNN, MSNBC and FOX were unanimous in their skepticism. With the Democrats back in the White House, we are sure to get nothing but “an unending procession of wild charges and fake scandals, dutifully given credence by major media organizations that somehow can’t bring themselves to declare the accusations unequivocally false.” You didn’t need to participate in oral sex in the hallway of the Oval Office to see that one coming.

The President’s Inauguration appeared to be a testament to a changing tide. That tide has eroded the shores and the shifting sands have resulted in a tenuous bedrock from which to build a changed nation upon. President Obama is now facing opposition more virolent that that President Bill Clinton had to deal with; the Tea Party, Town Hall rabid right that denies the legitimacy of his presidency (think the Birther movement and the deep seated racial prejudice that still exists). It is becoming tiresome that the media eagerly seizes on every wild rumor manufactured by the right-wing media industrial complex and presents it as news. Management directive, I suppose. Besides the Huffington Post, what media outlet isn’t owned by one of those huge corporations that used to make toasters, drill for oil, or send satellite signal directives beamed at those with aluminum foil on their heads.

Even beyond the imagination of the right-wing pundits there are claims that health care reform will create “death panels” that will shuffle grandma and her cronies off to an early grave. If you believe what you hear on CNN, it’s a complete fabrication, of course. If you believe what you hear on Rush Limbaugh’s show, it was President Obama’s original plan for cutting the cost of health care by getting rid of the elderly – Soylent Green for the Ditto Heads! The provision requiring that Medicare pay for voluntary end-of-life counseling was introduced by Senator Johnny Isakson, a well respected Republican from Georgia, who says that it’s “nuts” to claim that it has anything to do with euthanasia. No universal health care and death becomes our next great growth indsutry. We Americans are innovative; deregulation, credit default swaps and now a shortcut to the light at the end of the tunnel.  You betcha! I would imagine the Funeral Directors lobby is wringing their greedy cold, stiff hands waiting for their piece of TARP.  More options for them; “Would you like the lovely red or gold velvet with a down pillow for your final rest?”.

So not long ago, some of the most enthusiastic peddlers of the euthanasia smear, including Newt Gingrich, the former speaker of the House, and Sarah Palin herself, were all for “advance directives” for medical care in the event that you are incapacitated or comatose. That’s exactly what was being proposed but has been dropped from the bill because of all the hysteria.

This line of thinking has moved beyond the fringe and into the mainstream. Senior GOP members including so-called moderates, have embraced the B.S. from the fringe. Senator Chuck Grassley, a Republican from Iowa, is one of these supposed moderates. After all he voted “No” on a majority of the civil rights issues proposed in the past few years pretty much in lock-step with neocon Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho (I don't believe he was only there to wash his hands in that bathroom). If you don't support your fellow man on their basic rights how can you be a moderate? If you have studied the English language, a good synonym for moderate is judicious - as in wise and thoughtful, with a reasonable antonym being idiotic - Ditto!. I’m not sure where his centrist reputation comes from — he did, after all, compare critics of the Bush tax cuts to Hitler. I guess he is considered more moderate because he was not caught soliciting in the men’s room of his local airport. But in any case, his role in the health care debate has been despicable. It is shame that the recent passing of a senator was that of the one from Massachusetts and not this one from Iowa.

Sen. Grassley claimed that his colleague Senator Ted Kennedy’s brain tumor wouldn’t have been treated properly in other countries because they prefer to “spend money on people who can contribute more to the economy.” There was a report of him telling an audience that “you have every right to fear,” and that we “should not have a government-run plan to decide when to pull the plug on grandma.” The Health Minister of the U.K. responded that anyone with Ted Kennedy’s condition would receive preferential treatment due to the severe nature of the disease without regard to his standing in the community.

What of President Obama’s dream of moving beyond divisive politics? The truth is that the factors that made politics so ugly in the Clinton years — the paranoia of a significant minority of Americans and the cynical willingness of leading Republicans to cater to that paranoia — are as strong as ever. In fact, the situation may be even worse than it was in the 1990s because the collapse of the Bush administration has left the G.O.P. with no real leaders other than Rush Limbaugh and his sidekick, Igor - I mean Glenn Beck (Hump, What hump?).

The question now is how President Obama will deal with the death of his post-partisan dream. So far, at least, the Obama administration’s response to the outpouring of hate on the right has had a deer-in-the-headlights quality. It’s as if officials still can’t wrap their minds around the fact that things like this can happen to people who aren’t named Clinton, as if they keep expecting the nonsense to just go away.

What, then, should President Obama do? It would certainly help if he gave clearer and more concise explanations of his health care plan. To be fair, he’s gotten much better at that over the past month. Still too much techno-crap and double speak. I guess he is a politician, but I expected more from experiencing the eloquence of his earlier speeches. I believe I read somewhere that he has been advised to “dumb down” his rhetoric. I take offense to that suggestion as not all of us are standing in line awaiting our turn to drink the “special” Kool-Aid.

What’s still missing, however, is a sense of passion and outrage — passion for the goal of ensuring that every American gets the health care they need, outrage at the lies and fear-mongering that are being used to block that goal. So can President Obama, who can be so eloquent when delivering a message that uplifts us all, rise to the challenge of unreasoning, unappeasable opposition? From candidate Obama’s call for public service, I suggest those of us in the majority form a “death panel” to plan for the ultimate demise of the conservative right wing to be finally laid to rest. We are beginning to smell the stench of the rotting corpse. They died a long time ago and just forgot to lie down.

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The Ten Commandments - Guest Blog from my son Joe

The Ten Commandments - Revisited

Warning: What you are about to read is so goddamn (example) sacrilegious your skin may crawl, you may think about a gun purchase, or you may understand something new (don’t be scared, it won’t kill you). Persons established in the “Bible Belt” please flee the area around your computer now.

So I look at the Ten Commandments, the ten things to rule the world, to bring world order, and the ten things to grant humans a long and happy life on Earth. Holy shit! Ten fuckin’ things; are you shitting me? This is nonsense, these ten things are all we need…boy were we wrong. It’s depressing to think that ten rules could make society run like the well-oiled machine that cranks out the propaganda you read every morning with your “morning coffee.” If the nut who wrote this thought that these ten were it, he was wrong. I mean there are too little to begin with and they suck as they are. Here’s the list of the ten along with a “translation” into “real” English (They aren’t necessarily in order because I’m not at a hotel next to my copy of Gideon’s Bible. Sorry).

1. “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.”

“Ok, I’m the guy who gave you that ability to run for your jail break. Kiss my ring.”

2. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.”

“Yea…but I’m an insecure pussy who wants a little attention. Please direct it here. I don’t want to see you with any other guys! Ok?!”
(It’s like the Jews took God’s virginity and now he’s all clingy)

3. “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.”

“Don’t call me with no good news or just to fuck with me. I don’t like that. If you do, I’ll smite you! You schmuck!”
(Did I mention god is from the New York area? And that he’s Jewish?)

4. “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.”

“You can’t do anything when I’m tired! No! Stop trying to have sex with me! I already said I have a headache.”

5. “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

“Respect your parents. They worked hard to deal with your bullshit and theirs. While you’re at it be happy you’re alive this long. You ungrateful fuck.”
(Fuck is an adjective there. God would like to make sure He/She only uses the most proper grammar.)

6. “You shall not murder.”

(I hope I don’t need to translate this. If you need one go buy a gun at K-Mart and look in the barrel. When you pull the trigger you’ll see it pop up.)

7. “You shall not commit adultery.”

“Don’t cheat. Do I need to define this? I didn’t think so.”
(Bill Clinton didn’t ask someone to explain what God meant that day.)

8. “You shall not steal.”

(See Commandment 6)

9. “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”

“Don’t be that scumbag that rats out people or lies about something. Tell the truth and have some judgment.”
(Wow we’re totally off the mark with that one.)

10. “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.”

“Don’t be greedy and envy/want other people’s shit. It’s their shit; you have your own shit to take care of everyday.”
(I’m sure this doesn’t include me coveting Brad Pitt’s significant other [Angelina Jolie]. Then again he’s not my neighbor.)

Yep that’s the list. Everyone has a hard time following this one. Even Pat Robertson would admit to coveting that in front of a computer screen every now and then. But that’s it, those ten. (I noticed that there’s nothing mentioned that suggests society and the world will crumble because gays want to get married and that women want their right to choose.) There aren’t anymore. Society should be so simple. But besides the whole following these commandments, some of these are so outdated; they aren’t the timeless classics that should be in front of courthouses nowadays. In fact, using my super douche bag capabilities, combined with sacrilegious beliefs, also starring logical though; I’ve created my own list that can carry on from generation to generation after my body has vaporized in the nuclear attack ordered by Kim Jung Il (I honestly don’t care if I spelled that right). Here they are (So drink ‘em in fuckers).

1. Don’t kill anyone. Seriously. That includes killing youself.

2. Don’t cheat on your wife, domestic partner, or whatever you call the person you love and/or fuck on a regular basis.

3. Don’t steal shit. Earn it, strive for it, but don’t just steal what you want.
(Now that I’ve plagiarized enough let’s get creative.)

4. Be honest, tell the truth consistently and not only will others be more willing to like/trust you; you’ll deal with a whole lot less drama and bullshit that gives you that heavy baggage you carry around all the time.

5. Do what makes you happy as long as you don’t purposely impede someone else from doing the exact same thing.

6. Help out others along their journey through life as well. Don’t be selfish and so arrogant that you can’t help someone lead a meaningful existence. (And when you get that help don’t sue the fucker that helps you. That’s fucked up!)

7. Don’t push your beliefs, ideas, or habits as if to harass someone for acting differently or having a different opinion. For that matter don’t push your cock on someone too, because rape and molestation are fucked up and those things should fuckin’ stop by now.

8. Do not mix faith with science. Scripture is meant to act as a guide to lead a rewarding life. It isn’t science. Sometimes scripture is flat-out wrong.

9. Do not mix faith with law. The law should be fair to all people, no matter their race, creed, sexual preference, or religion (there’s a lot more to that list that isn’t written here. When I said “all” I meant “all.”).

10. Use your better sense of judgment along with logic to make decisions. Try to think of all your options before deciding what is best for you or others.

So they aren’t fancy, they certainly more user-friendly. Especially now, but they certainly fit in with the societies of ancient history like the Greeks, the Romans, etc, etc. These seem to be like really basic things that barely anyone can grasp ahold of. I mean Republicans are still saying gays can’t marry and that abortion should never be allowed (one also made the proposition to sell chickens calling it “cash for cluckers*”), and then they get reelected. It takes guts and a serious ego to “motherfuck” the people everyday of the year and then decide that you not only helped the people, but you deserve that spot in the government again. Maybe if this madness ever ends we’ll begin to even out, and become happy. But then again what government wants happy people. They’re in the faith business with God, “we’re here for you, to scare the piss out of you all the time.” Correct me if I’m wrong but, I believe that’s their slogan.

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The Merits of Work - A Poem

I often find that I have writer's block when it comes to developing a business report for work.  I prefer to spend my time daydreaming about music or creative writing.  But this report was overdue and I had to kick start my brain in gear so I started the creative by writing this poem.  Regrettably, it didn't have the desired effect I thought it would but I did get the job done the next day...

The Merits of Work

I was assigned a task to write a report today
I'll have to do it in earnest to earn my pay
Some report about topics of such little worth
Bringing change in my pocket to expand my girth

It is hard to get started, for I must lose this smirk
I need motivation, this is a duty not to shirk
Having to toil away, writing about effects of placebo
Prefer to laze in the sun, glass of wine in a gazebo

Maybe start with a poem to get the creative flowing
In the back of my mind there are thoughts of knowing
An artist for sure is nothing without the mission
Hard work still required to affect the condition

It may be the effort of work has lost its poetry
We are compelled to create, to follow our destiny
For freedom is gained by an endeavor well taken
Commitment to excellence is not to be forsaken

It weren't for last minutes, nothing would ever get done
Finally finishing the job to take that walk in the sun
The reward for completion is not what you get from it
But how much more you've become from not having quit

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Craigslist Personals – eBay for Hedonists - Free Shipping Included

Although sex is solicited online in many places — legally and otherwise — the Casual Encounters listings on Craigslist are a major hub, offering to do for casual sex what the rest of the site does for apartment sharing, temporary jobs and old golf clubs.

Like the old-time gay bathhouses and sex clubs (remember Plato’s Retreat in NYC), the Casual Encounters section caters to the erotic underbelly of society, where courtship gives way to expediency and anonymity is a virtue. The section was introduced in late 2000 and is available in all cities served by Craigslist, for users gay and straight, male and female, swingers, purveyors of used underwear and even propositions for renting out animals trained for the purpose. Word out to the Humane Society! The ads range from prim and playful to gross and raunchy; a good number of people include photographs of precisely what they have to offer. Though the site has a policy against posting pornographic pictures, it does not seem to be enforced.

Ads in the Casual Encounters section account for 2 percent of all Craigslist postings, according to the company. It also says that traffic to all the Craigslist personals sites — which include more innocuous sections for old-school romance and platonic relationships is higher than for any other online personals site, including Match.com, eHarmony and Yahoo personals. That’s a lot of people searching for love through the smog of the Internet.

When I was growing up in New York, boys who came of age all hopped into a car and drove to Times Square. This was the time before Times Square became a G-Rated theme-park for Midwestern tourists in khaki shorts with black socks. There was storefront after storefront with glowing neon signs advertising the hard sell of electric sex; peep shows, sex toys, massage palors, video tapes, movie houses and lines of prostitutes on the street corners by the Port Authority bus depot selling sex for about the price you would pay for a Starbucks Venti Latte (non-fat milk, no foam, please).

Our first experience was with the peep shows where you would go into a store that had closed booths in a back room. You would drop a quarter in the slot and a shutter would rise to provide a short glimpse of a naked woman gyrating on a circular platform that looked like something out Tim Burton's vision of a twisted nightmare from Hugh Hefner’s Playboy mansion. It was enough of a disgusting experience to have you wishing you were back in your suburban neighborhood with Mary Lou watching reruns of Leave It Beaver sitting on the couch eating popcorn while she was babysitting the neighbor’s kids. No sex, no way; yet no diseases, no corruption. When you awoke from this nightmare, you were just hoping that your feet weren’t actually sticking to the floor of the booth. Then again, you thought to yourself - Should I put another quarter in the slot? If you did, that is why you currently like going to Vegas; if not, that is why you avoid the place like the plague.

I imagine that the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist Personals is the virtual, on-line equivalent of the old Times Square. We all have voyeuristic tendencies and it is secret fun to gawk at the freak show from a safe distance. As for the actual participants, some psychologists have postulated that many of the people trolling the site have a narcissistic, sociopathic side and don’t have a lot of empathy for other people. It sounds like they are describing my local congressman. Oh, I believe he is on-line now in the newly established friends of Eliot Spitzer link. Sorry, that’s on Facebook, wrong social networking site.

As a researcher schooled in the rigors of experimental methodology, I decided to perform an informal social science experiment. I created two fictitious ads, one for a woman seeking a man and one for a man seeking a woman. These were just text-based ads and I did not post a picture (I understand from other’s experiences that more responses are generated from ads with pictures attached).

The response rate and some observations:

• Straight woman looking for a Casual Relationship with a man: 185 responses
• Straight man looking for a Casual Relationship with a women: 0 responses, 21 spam responses for solicitation by a sex website
  

1. For the Orange County postings, where I pretended to be a straight female looking for a male, I received dozens of emails a few minutes after posting. The rate of emails slowed down as the day went on when the post got pushed further and further down on the page.
2. I was overwhelmed with how many straight males simply included pictures of their genitals and nothing else. Were they really expecting that a woman would see a picture of their penis and exclaim “My, what a wonderful personality this guy has. That has to be the man for me!”? 
3. Some men wrote really short, one-lined notes, while others gave entire biographies of themselves, where they worked, lived, pictures, phone numbers, etc. 
4. Several men admitted that they were married and were looking to cheat on their significant others.
5. As for the male looking for a female post, it got spammed by what amounts to either pay-for-play or links to dating websites and young girl webcam sites (I assume they get naked while you pay and watch - I am sure it costs a lot more than a quarter to open that voyeuristic shutter).
   

The real insidious issue at hand is that most of the people gave away a good deal of personal information to an anonymous person on the Internet. They didn’t know who I was and I could have used this information for God knows what type of mischief. The moral being that you guys should use the brain located in its primary location and not the one located in your other head.

Blinded by science! Not exactly as this little social science experiment just examined the response rate to an ad with no actual follow-through, not a good research design. Sorry Profeesor, I promise not to smoke pot before coming to your lecture next time. I know, I know, short term memory loss. I did remember that good research practice for conducting a psycho-social experiment requires all pictures and personal information be destroyed at the end of the one week experiment, as was done for this ad hoc study.

“Casual Encounters was created in response to user demand for a section that allowed for a wide range of personal meeting and relationship options,” Craig Newmark, the founder of Craigslist as quoted from a recent New York Times article. “In that sense, it’s probably an accurate inside look at how people like to connect these days. Our users like the ability to be both candid and, initially, anonymous. The users see this as a valuable service for the local community.”

If Craigslist is a “community” like it claims to be, then I propose that we do what all in a community would do; have a block party to clean all the crap off the street and deposit it properly in the trash. I am afraid that if this is not done, sooner or later the ever growing pile of sludge will eventually envelop one of us who use the site, or one of those unsuspecting victims in whom we love…

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